Pinky and the Brain - The Really Great Dictator

In these chaotic times, it's easy to forget who the true Lords and Masters of our Saturday Mornings once were. The unforgettable words of Pinky and the Brain remain poignant and relevant, even a decade after their final farewell.

Lyrics (courtesy of SBAnimaniacs & myself):

Noreaga, Genghis Khan, Saddam Hussein, and me the Brain, we all have this one thing in common: we are into world domination.
(It's a new sensation, try it and you'll feel elation.)
It's the gift to give the guy who wants everything.
(Military takeovers!)
Governmental makeovers!
(Coup d'état will be confined!)
It keeps your junta occupied.

Look here at this dotted line, as overlord, I could combine and make this all one sovereign state.
(Oh, Overlord, you are so great!)
I'll sew up this divided planet. My regime will surely span it.
(Yummy, Spam! Oh, will you can it?
No, Pinky you will.)
I'll learn the language if I must.
(You will gain the people's trust.)
I'll let them join my coterie.
(And you can buy their loyalty.)

There are several formulae I like to use for domination, and to get the maximum effect out of a helpless nation. Crabmeat or magnetic shoes, mind-controlling pink tutus, or a giant signal tower to telecast my mental power.
Think big, not small!
(Dominoes will start to fall!)
and then I can,
be the mouse who conquers man.

So, if you have a calculator, you can be a great dictator. Let each country that you covet equal X.
(You're gonna love it!)
Multiply by Y not try it, if the people start to riot, you can always say that they are just a bunch of kooks.
People just need to be led!
(By a mouse with a big head!)
To their weakness, they'll succumb!
(If you give them chewing gum!)
It may bother them a bit.
(But they'll soon get over it)
They won't whine when I'm the Czar of all that we see, near and far!